How's it goin Kyssa?
Someone who cares about me a lot asked me that question today and I can honestly say I didn't know how to answer. So often I'm feeling sorry for myself and I know people don't want to hear about that. And other times I'm feeling great. Feeling silly, hyper, dare I say it, super duper. But today I was just...Peaceful.
Some of you probably read the post that I've chosen to delete. I don't know why I wrote it. We all write things that maybe the next day we might think twice about. I'm not the only one who feels sad sometimes. I couldn't sleep. There was a lot of stuff on my mind. Lots of stuff that hasn't been on my mind for a while, just in the last few days. And it felt wonderful to get it out there. I wasn't looking for sympathy. I just needed to vent. And it felt damn good. I hadn't cried in a long time and it was great. It felt wonderful. I cried for so many reasons. I cried because of what I wrote. I cried because I realized that I shouldn't be feeling that way. I cried because I wanted my mom. I cried because I was tired. I cried because I love so many things about my life. It wasn't just a sad cry. It was a happy cry. A relaxing cry. A releasing cry. I don't care if what I wrote pissed people off...Sometimes you just need to say it outloud, or write it outloud I guess, to make you realize what you're really thinking about. And I'm sorry if you think that my life has been consumed by these feelings because you're wrong. I haven't been this happy in a fairly long time.
I know I often feel sorry for myself when I shouldn't. But I've been doing better. And just because I wrote something at 3 am doesn't mean that's how I'm feeling all day long. I had a wonderful day today. I got to hang out with some of my best friends, took a great nap, and watched 2 awesome movies and one really odd TV show. I have such a good life, and even though it's not perfect I realize that it could be a lot worse. I realize that it HAS been a lot worse. I realize that if all you know about my life is what you read on this blog, maybe you don't really know.
Goodnight, friends. I love you all.
Life goes on
No matter if your life is tattered
And you can't fix what went wrong
Life goes on
You're battered and your life is scattered
You're a hook in your own theme song
Life goes on
You're a fighter but the grip is tighter
And you know that you can't stand long
Life goes on
It's gonna get brighter
Some of you probably read the post that I've chosen to delete. I don't know why I wrote it. We all write things that maybe the next day we might think twice about. I'm not the only one who feels sad sometimes. I couldn't sleep. There was a lot of stuff on my mind. Lots of stuff that hasn't been on my mind for a while, just in the last few days. And it felt wonderful to get it out there. I wasn't looking for sympathy. I just needed to vent. And it felt damn good. I hadn't cried in a long time and it was great. It felt wonderful. I cried for so many reasons. I cried because of what I wrote. I cried because I realized that I shouldn't be feeling that way. I cried because I wanted my mom. I cried because I was tired. I cried because I love so many things about my life. It wasn't just a sad cry. It was a happy cry. A relaxing cry. A releasing cry. I don't care if what I wrote pissed people off...Sometimes you just need to say it outloud, or write it outloud I guess, to make you realize what you're really thinking about. And I'm sorry if you think that my life has been consumed by these feelings because you're wrong. I haven't been this happy in a fairly long time.
I know I often feel sorry for myself when I shouldn't. But I've been doing better. And just because I wrote something at 3 am doesn't mean that's how I'm feeling all day long. I had a wonderful day today. I got to hang out with some of my best friends, took a great nap, and watched 2 awesome movies and one really odd TV show. I have such a good life, and even though it's not perfect I realize that it could be a lot worse. I realize that it HAS been a lot worse. I realize that if all you know about my life is what you read on this blog, maybe you don't really know.
Goodnight, friends. I love you all.
Life goes on
No matter if your life is tattered
And you can't fix what went wrong
Life goes on
You're battered and your life is scattered
You're a hook in your own theme song
Life goes on
You're a fighter but the grip is tighter
And you know that you can't stand long
Life goes on
It's gonna get brighter
posted by Kyssa at 12/21/2005 11:36:00 AM
4 Comments:
Hey, everyone needs to cry sometimes. It's nice. I think so at least. And your last post was just fine. It's YOUR blog and YOU get to write what YOU want, however YOU are feeling at one particular moment. And if you don't feel like that in an hour, who the fuck cares? You did then, and it made you feel better to post. People need to realize that things that are posted on here are what people are thinking about RIGHT NOW, not everyday for hours and hours, not something that they really really think about and are totally upset about. It's just what you're posting right then and that's what you feel. And people don't get that. So post whatever you want and don't let anyone say different. Besides, I had good advice :D
Stop being sorry. You're allowed to have your opinions just like the rest of us. I appreciate that you care about me enough to tell me what you're really thinking and everyone needs that sometimes. So please don't apologize for having an opinion because that's one of the worst feelings in the world. You're a human being just like the rest of us and you're entitled to have feelings. It's OK!!!! I don't think nearly as many people would love you as much as they do if you stopped having those feelings. Just like Elycia said, this is a place for us to voice our thoughts, so voice away!
dude-z i dont think i have a link on ur blog. sad day....
Sorry hun! When you started your new, anonymous-ish blog, i somehow thought maybe you didn't want people to link to you! i don't know where i got that from. no worries, i still love you!!!
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