Seeing in the Dark
I used to have a nightgown when I was a kid, it had a walrus on it and it said lovable. And at the time, I believed it. Absolutely and with my whole heart. I thought I was a perfect person, just the way I was. But somewhere I guess we lose that, through failures, through disappointments, through people stealing our brand new box of crayons. Until we end up here. And perhaps the fact of the matter is, that life is re-learning all the things that came so easily to us as children. It's funny to think that while some people find comfort in the everyday things, in covering themselves with a blanket to keep out the monsters I've always found comfort in seeing, in the solid concrete wall at my back with my pupils dialated and open in the darkness. I've always taken comfort in what I've been, who I've been, where I've come from in order to be able to see my life as it is now. Now I'm not sure what I think. To see or not to see?
posted by Kyssa at 1/19/2006 07:41:00 AM
2 Comments:
I have always found it strange and disappointing when I think of our childhood. We were so careless and open and things just never really went wrong. There were disappointments, but we just overlooked them and went on. Now, as "adults" it all just seems to never go right and we take to heart so much more than we did when we were children. We care more. We desire more and in turn we worry more. I just wish sometimes I could go back to those days when I was carefree to a certain extent. Then things might be better. You are right. There was so much comfort in the small simple things. Like a blanket or a night gown. Now, it feels like the comfort disappeared and we are left naked with no protection. We are now having to relearn all of those instincts and feelings that we were 'born' with. It's frusterating. It's like regress and progress at the same time. No one can explain it.
When I was little I had a nightgown that had tweety-bird on it and pink frillies at the sleeves and the bottom. The best part? My doll had a matching one!
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