From Girl, Interrupted:
Susanna: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna: I don't care.
Dr. Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna: It means I don't care. That's what it means.
Dr. Wick: On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings... in opposition. The prefix, as in "ambidextrous," means "both." The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor." The word suggests that you are torn... between two opposing courses of action.
Susanna: Will I stay or will I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane... or, am I crazy?
Susanna: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be, dear - for some.
Susanna: Well, then - it's the wrong word.
Dr. Wick: No. I think it's perfect.
I think that "ambivalent" is the perfect word to describe me.
Should I take what I know would be readily available to me?
Or should I reach farther and see what happens?
I want both.
I don't want either of them.
I'm tired of letting myself down.
Somewone tell me what to do.
Arg.
Now I'm a pirate.
Susanna: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna: I don't care.
Dr. Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna: It means I don't care. That's what it means.
Dr. Wick: On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings... in opposition. The prefix, as in "ambidextrous," means "both." The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor." The word suggests that you are torn... between two opposing courses of action.
Susanna: Will I stay or will I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane... or, am I crazy?
Susanna: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be, dear - for some.
Susanna: Well, then - it's the wrong word.
Dr. Wick: No. I think it's perfect.
I think that "ambivalent" is the perfect word to describe me.
Should I take what I know would be readily available to me?
Or should I reach farther and see what happens?
I want both.
I don't want either of them.
I'm tired of letting myself down.
Somewone tell me what to do.
Arg.
Now I'm a pirate.
posted by Kyssa at 6/30/2006 11:22:00 PM
3 Comments:
I'm getting good at constructive criticism here lately, so I'll give you what I think. I'm good at hurting feelings especially when I don't mean too, but know that I don't mean to. I'm just trying to help because you asked. K? Alright.
I think that you should do what you want to do and stop thinking that you are going to just let urself down. Have some confidence because the only way you are going to get anything done is if you believe in what you do. There isn't always going to be people around that care and if you let yourself fall into the life where you have to have reassurance that you are doing something right, then you are well... you are screwed...theoritically speaking. I have told you this before. YOu need to stop caring about letting urself down. Do what feels right. If you fail, who cares. Get off your butt and try it again. No one ever got anything accomplished sitting around thinking about how they are going to fail. They failed, sucked it up, and did it again until they got it accomplished or found something even better. Einstein for example. He'd be non-existant to us if it wasn't for his willingness to try again and again and needless to say about 100 billion times more after that. YOu have to take charge of your life. It's YOUR life hun. Don't let people tell you what you want. Want what you want. You are just looking for the easy way out. Everyone is so it's completely understandable, but be different. Be Kyssa, super woman who took charge and ruled the world. It's hard, no doubt. A new trial every day will arise. But in the long run, you don't have any debts, and you can be more proud than anything. Trust me. IT's worth it.
You are a great girl. You just need to realize that. You just need to believe. I believe in you, if no one else does. I know you can do it. The strength hidden in all of us is far too great for anyone to imagine. Time for you to find it. :)
That's some pretty good advice Miss Julie. Thanks :)
I've discovered a lot of strengths that I never knew I had and I've become a lot more independent than I used to be. And I don't ACTUALLY want someone to tell me what to do because I'm pretty sure that would just piss me off :)
'Tis very good advice Julie. But I think my problem is I don't know what I want. I don't know what it is that's missing and I wish I did, but there isn't a whole lot I can do about that that I know of. Crappy, but whatever.
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